Today was sort of a rough day. It's not that it was bad (well not until like 7:30pm) it's just SUPER long. I have like 6 classes on Tuesdays they start and 8 in the morning and end at 8:20 at night. Now I have a few hours in there so don't think I'm going to class 12 and half hours on Tuesdays, but it's enough classes to be a little stressful. I looked my best, and started my day off with exercise at 6 am. I got coffee at Bongo so I could function in class, and had little freak out moments throughout the day over forgetting which class I had to be at and if I had everything ready for that class. I ate dinner with a friend and by this time my heels were torn to shreds. (Remember how I said I looked my best...yea well after 2 days of walking in some seriously vicious heels and flats my feet were completely jacked up..), this wasn't a problem, I know just like the next girl that beauty is pain people and sometimes in order for me to feel like I can get through the day, I have to have confidence...and sometimes knowing that I look as cute as I can is 98% of that confidence. I hope I've painted a picture for you...the day was full of oppurtunities, to either succeed or fail. In the end I felt like it was sort of mediocre. I was exhausted from all the freak out sessions and the getting up at 5:30 to walk but I still had one more class to go...*dun dun DUN* music theory lab. Um first I would just like to say I had no idea what the heck this class was for. I was excited because someone under the age of 100 was teaching it and so that was promising (I love all my teachers it's just sorta refreshing to see a younger face) but I still didn't know what it was all about. I go in the class (trying not to limp but just making the fact that I walk on my toes stand out about 154 times more that it ever did because my heels were really starting to sting) and sit down. The class starts and we all say the usual our name, major, and the timeless question why Belmont? After that was done Ryan (the teacher) says, "We all have this wall we need to get past because we will have to sing alot in this class and so we might as well do it now."...hmm ok no problem.. I knew this day would come and it's fine I have five people before me and Ryan says we just need to sing a few lines of a song. Five people turned into four people, and four people turned to three people and before you know it it's my turn. At this point it's important you know every sense that was in action. I suddenly felt like I was going to throw up, cry, and hyperventilate all at once. I couldn't even freakin remember the words to Amazing Grace. I was stumbling around trying to grasp for words to a song.. ANY SONG. Finally I say, "Um ok lets go for Jesus Loves Me." The teacher is almost excited by this choice because I look so crazed and ridiculous. I then proceeded to sing the most wretched Jesus Loves Me I have ever attempted in my life. To add to it I nodded my head along with the rhythm because I was nervous and that is just what you do. Everyone clapped politely and smiled and said good job and moved along while I desired more than anything on Earth that God would strike me dead with lightning right then and there. The end of the class came and I limped outside yanked my shoes off and walked out into the middle of the courtyard and stopped. I was terrified and sick to my stomach. My gag reflex hadn't stopped spazzing since the tragedy in the classroom, and I was about to crumple onto the grass and cry in front of alot of people. (And I don't cry...it's like if someone is around my tear ducts get retarded) I was so depressed and was about to call Meagan to tell her how awful all this was and how I couldn't possibly do this and then I stopped. Me and God have something special...we exchange love letters. I write down my prayers (which are not always love letters I must admit) and He sends me lightning bugs, It's not always a lightning bug but that is my sure fire sign that God is right there in front of me telling me that He loves me and He's not ever going to leave me. So as I was standing there instead of calling my peeps I said, "God I need a lightning bug. I think I'm going to have some sort of breakdown if you don't give me a stinking light bug right here, right now." I looked around. I looked everywhere without moving. I was completely defeated and was about to walk away when RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME a little lightning bug flashed twice and then flew away.
I know this is a pretty typical, cheesy story similar to the ones you get in fwd emails all the time but I wanted you to know from someone that had a sucky day and doesn't feel all "Woo hoo Jesus is the bomb, and He fixes all my problems, and I never have to worry about anything, and blah blah blah" God is present and He will not leave you. My day still sucked a bit but He never left my side and He never will. He will sustain me and hold me. He will be enough and give me what I need to bring Him glory. To be honest I still feel down, and if someone walked up and offered me an entire gallon of Ben&Jerry's Chunkey Munkey ice cream I would probably eat the whole thing and not feel a bit sorry, but I know that there is a reason that I'm here. I know that if I seek HIm nothing can stop me from finding Him and glorfying Him. I shall rest in the Lord and find peace that surpasses all understanding. I would encourage you to do the same. I hope your day didn't suck but whoever you are, and wherever you are, realize that we have to let our fear and stress go. Whatever happens if you are His and He is yours...it's all going to be good. Because that is what the Lord, our Father, and Lover wants for us...our good.
But He said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me.~ 2 Corinthians 12:9
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